Corporate Language

"We will do it"
means
" You will do it"


"You have done a great job"
means
"More work to be given to you"


"We are working on it"
means
"We have not yet started working on the same"


"Tomorrow first thing in the morning"
means
"Its not getting done...
At least not tomorrow !".


"After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views"
means
"I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"


"There was a slight miscommunication"
means
"We had actually lied"


"Lets call a meeting and discuss"
means
"I have no time now, will talk later"


"We can always do it"
means
"We actually cannot do the same on time"


"We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline"
means
"The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."


"We had slight differences of opinion"
means
"We had actually fought"


"Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you"
means
"Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"


"You should have told me earlier"
means
"Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"


"We need to find out the real reason"
means
"Well I will tell you where your fault is"


"Well... family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected"
means
"Well you know..."


"We are a team"
means
"I am not the only one to be blamed"


"That's actually a good question"
means
"I do not know anything about it"

THIS IS THE BEST

"All the Best"

means
" You are in trouble"

Love Story

The love story of Ron and Edna.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean
they don't love you with all they have.
Ron and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were
walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ron suddenly jumped into the deep
end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna heroic act she immediately
ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to
be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad
news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to
rationally
respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you
love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad
news is, Ron hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right
after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Edna replied (you'll love this) .
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, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'

Were ever You Go

Hi.......... ....... Trust the fact???????? ??This is a real story of a young college girl who passed away last month in Chandigarh . Her name was Priya. She was hit by a truck. She is working in a call centre. She has a boy friend named Shankar.Both of them are true lovers. They always hang on the phone.You cannever see her without her fact she also changed her phone from Airtel to Hutch, so both of them can be on the same network, and save on the cost.She spends half of the day talking with shankar. Priya's family knows about their relationship. Shankar is very close with Priya's family. (just imagine their love) . Before she passed away shealways told her friends "If I pass away please burn me with my handphone" she also said the same thing to her parents. After her death, people cudnt carry her body, I was there. A lot of them tried to do so but still cant , everybody including me, had tried to carry the body, the result is still the same. Eventually, they called a person who know to one of their neighbours, who can speak with the soul of dead person, who is a friend of her father. He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly.After a few minutes, he said "this girl misses something here." Then her friends told that person about her intentions to burn her with her phone. He then opened the grave box and place her phone and sim card inside the casket. After that they tried to carry the body. It could be moved and they carried it into the van easily.All of us were shocked. Priya's parents did not inform Shankar that Priya had passed away.After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom.....Shankar :...."Aunty, I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for me. Dont tell Priya that I'm coming home today, I wanna surprise her." Her mother replied..... "You come home first, I wanna tell you something very important."After he came, they told him the truth about Priya. Shankar thinks that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said "don't try to fool me - tell Priya to come out, i have a gift for her. Please stop this nonsense".Then they show him the original death certificate to him. They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar started to sweat) He said... "Its not true. We spoke yesterday. She still calls me.Shankar was shaking.Suddenly, Shankar's
Suddenly, Shankar's phone rang. "see this is from Priya, see this...." he showed the phone to priya's family. all of them told him to answer. he talked using the loudspeaker mode.All of them heard his conversation.Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming.It is the actual voice of Priya & there is no way others could use her sim card since it is nailed.Inside the grave box they were so shocked and asked for the same person's(who can speak with the soul of deal perosns) help again. He brought his master to solve this matter. He & his masterworked for 5 hours.Then they discovered one thing which really shockedthem...Hutch has the best coverage.Where ever you go, our network follows!!!

Salty Coffee

He met her on a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he was so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to being polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please, let me go home. Suddenly he asked the waiter: "would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee."

Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but, still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously, why you have this hobby? He replied "when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I liked playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my home town, I miss my home town so much, I miss my parents who are still living there".
While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched.

That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home,has responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak, spoke about her far away hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story.
They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearten, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee!

Then the story was just like every beautiful love story, the princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy life...

And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the
coffee, as she knew that's the way he liked it. After 40 years, he
passed away, left her a letter, which said: "My dearest, please
forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to
you---the salty coffee.

Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time,
actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt it was hard for me to
change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the
start of our communication!

I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything.. Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste. But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again".

Her tears made the letter totally wet. Someday, someone asked her: what's the taste of salty coffee? It's sweet.
She replied. love is not 2 forget
but 2 forgive
not 2 c but understand
not 2 hear but 2 listen
not 2 let go but HOLD ON !!!!
Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear. A real friend expects to always be there for you!ze